Mourning a friend or family member’s death can sometimes feel impossible. Some people can find comfort in the surroundings with loved ones, while others can participate in a The retreat of the grief Hope to find tools to heal. For some people, however, the most unexpected symptom of loss is not tears, brain fog or numbness: it is the insatiable surge of horny.
“Mourning Wood” is the surprising wave of excitement that can strike during the process of mourning. Someone with mourning wood can want sex often than usualLonging for more physical touch with a partner, or feels turned on during moments that they would otherwise not be.
In a popular one Reddit -threadA user asked if it was ok to feel horny shortly after a loved one dies. “My grandmother to 94 recently died three days ago,” the user said. “I started to feel a little horny (a little more than usual). I feel sad, guilty and worried. Is it normal or even ok to feel this or is something wrong with me?”
On another Reddit -threadAnother user asked if grief can actually increase your libido. “I think I might be so overwhelmed by emotions and can’t process them that it has resulted in a higher libido,” they said.
As confusing as mourning wood can feel, the answer is yes, an increased state of excitement can definitely be a normal response to grief. Below, psychologist Lienna Wilson, Psyd, why this can happen and what to do if you experience this type of grief response.
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Lienna WilsonPsyd, is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Princeton, NJ.
What is grief and why does it happen?
Although mourning wood sounds like resembling morning Wood, these are not the same experiences. “Mourning Wood is a hose term for occurrences of increased sexual arousal that sometimes occurs during the grief process,” says Dr. Wilson. “It has nothing to do with morning erections and can be experienced by any gender throughout the grief process.” Unlike morning wood, grief wood is completely gender neutral. Anyone can experience grief, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
According to Dr. Wilson knows the reason why you can experience an increased horny while you are mourning to make you simply want to feel better. “Psychological pain activates some of the same areas of the brain as physical pain, and when the body has pain it longs for a release of endorphins,” she explains. And what do these moderate chemicals release in the body? Orgasms.
People can also look at sex and physical connection as a handling mechanism. “Many people long for physical comfort under grief,” says Dr. Wilson. “Sexual intimacy can provide a much deeper physical connection and comfort, especially if it is with a partner that you know and trust.”
That said, some people may experience the opposite of grief. According to Dr. Wilson knows the stress you experience as you grief increase your cortisol levels, which can actually reduce the total sexual arousal. “But a need for endorphin pain relief can counteract it, which leads to sexual arousal,” she adds.
Is mourning wood a normal response to grief?
There is no “normal” way to mourn. What works for one person may not work for another. For some, grief may achieve emotional withdrawal, loss of appetite or difficulty sleeping. For others, it can provide an increased need for closeness, comfort and, yes, even sex. “Everyone grieves in their own way, so there is nothing wrong with having increased sexual needs when mourning,” says Dr. Wilson.
That said, if a person uses sex as a distraction it may not be so healthy. “If you notice that you feel more empty or experience feelings of guilt, it may not be a good handling behavior,” says Dr. Wilson. For this reason, she always recommends consulting with a therapist or grief specialist who can help you work through your feelings.
Taylor Andrews Is Senior Balance Editor on Popsugar, specializing in topics related to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and story. Before she came to PS 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.
