Although masturbation is often considered something you do yourself, it is also an incredibly warm way to get involved with your partner. Whether you want to spice up your relationship, build trust and connection to your partner or just explore new sensations, mutual masturbation is a sex technique worth trying.
“Mutual masturbation can create an extremely erotic environment and improve the desire between partners,” says Megwyn White, certified clinical sexologist. “It creates a shared experience for something that is usually done privately and creates intimacy between partners.”
It is quite understandable if mutually masturbating with your partner sounds a little scary. Just like introducing someone New kink or fetish In your sex life it is intimate! It’s private! It’s personal! But confidence, to dive into the world of mutual masturbation is a rewarding experience that allows all partners to experience pleasure – and observe each other’s pleasure – in a way they probably never have before.
Experts displayed in this article
Megwyn White is a certified sexologist and founder of somatic healing platform haptic body.
Joy BerkheimerLMFT, is a dating coach, sexologist, writer and therapist.
What is mutual masturbation?
Mutual masturbation refers to the act of pleasing yourself with someone else. Often, this may look like turning to each other masturbating or masturbating at the same time. Some people even use it as a binding tool in long distance relationships when they cannot be physically together personally. And although mutual masturbation is sometimes called “pair of masturbation”, it can also be done with several partners for group masturbation. (More about that below.)
When it comes to the benefits of trying mutual masturbation: Masturbation allows people to enjoy pleasure on their own terms and within their own power. It is an exercise that is rooted in self -love, agency and entertainment, which explains why it may feel vulnerable to take this private action and share it with someone else. But that vulnerability can actually serve to deepen the link between lovers, turn on you and create a unique environment where you and your partner may experience some consensus Voyeurism.
“As people we like to witness pleasure in others. It reflects how we can look and experience when we are in the heat in our own pleasure, because we do not often see it in ourselves,” says therapist and sexologist Joy Berkheimer.
The best thing is that the possibilities for mutual masturbation are quite endless: it can serve as a foreplay or the main event, it is a good alternative for those who do not like internally (or “penetrative” sex), and it is also a low efforts to explore kinks that Sexual edging.
In addition, “When couples or groups explore masturbation together, it allows partners to adapt to their own personal” entertainment maps “while at the same time observing what puts on their partner and their partner’s unique experience of pleasure,” says White. In other words, you can teach your partner where you can move in a non-scary way. In addition, at a more practical level, mutual masturbation means that humans are not liquid bytes (or come into contact with other people’s sexual fluids), which eliminates Opportunity for STI or pregnancy.
How to try mutual masturbation together
First, talk to your partner about what you are comfortable with – like using Sex toys in front of each other, look at each other or touch each other under the mutual masturbate. As always, if you or your partner becomes uncomfortable at any time, always decide for a Secure words In advance to let each other know to end the session.
Whether you try mutual masturbation on the floor, in the bedroom, in the shower or in the kitchen, you may think it is sexy to first spend some time removing the clothes in front of each other. Let your eyes wander all over your partner when they at the same time take your sight on you as well. Then the sexual experience can see your normal masturbation anyway anyway. Move yourself as you would do if you were yourself, while paying attention to what your partner is doing.
“For those who may try mutual masturbation for the first time, to put side by side while masturbating can be most comfortable so you and your partner can make as much or some eye contact as you want,” says White. You can also place yourself by sitting face to face with them, giving you (and your partner) a full front view, she adds.
Mutual masturbation tips
Below, White recommends the following tips when mutually masturbating:
Set the mood. Like all other types of sex, a small prep work will go a long way. Think about what makes you most comfortable and excited when masturbating alone – a certain toy, water -based or silicone -based lubricanta Sex playlistOr a towel. Some partners choose to Watch porn Together, although of course it is not a requirement.
Use FaceTime to your advantage. If you are not physically with your partner, mutual masturbation is a great way to keep the spark alive through the phone. White suggests that you encounter your phone in a stable position and then sit while facing the camera. Feel free to knee, stand up, bump or move in front of the camera as you masturbate. Just be sure to be crystal clear when playing by phone and communicating on screenshots or screen recordings in advance.
Adding a little Dirty call in the mixture. Telling your partner how sexy they look or how good something feels will only improve the experience. You can also experiment with giving each other instructions on how and where to touch the other person.
Use sex toys. Do not feel shy to introduce sex toys into your mutual masturbation session; They may be something to connect over. Try to use a Sex toy for remote control So that you and your partner can control the intensity, speed and pattern for each other’s toys.
Become more involved. “If you are personally with your partner and they are comfortable with it, feel free to mess and kiss them when you learn what they want,” says White.
Group Masturbation Tips
In group dynamics, the same rules generally apply. Be communicative, have sex toys and lubricants at hand and get a comfortable position. With several people in the mix, always look to all The participants are on the same page by setting some ground rules before playing, as if kissing or dirty calls are ok, or if you want to try to synchronize your orgasms.
When you are ready to start, Berkheimer recommends that you lie down in a circle next to each other, which will give all parties the ability to see pleasure “from several different angles in this circle.” Then communicate with each other about how everything feels and when you are close orgasm.
Just keep in mind that even though mutual masturbation is a relatively safe practice, at any time there are body fluids from vaginal discharge or semen, “can be spread, says White.” Be careful with this spread if you and your partners decide to integrate each other during your exercise and consider being tested. ”
Sara Youngblood Gregory Be a contributing staff writer for Popsugar Wellness. She covers sex, kink, disability, pleasure and wellness. Sara sits on the board of Lesbian Literary and Arts Journal, Sinister Wisdom. Her work has been presented in Vice, Huffpost, Bustle, Dame, The Rumpus, Jezebel and many others. Sara’s debut Nonfiction work, “The Polyamory Workbook,” about navigating in ethical nonmonogamy, is out now.
